Better

So, I still have the sinus thing, but I think that's just part of the permanent condition of this fallen man. Generally, I feel better. My headache is all but gone. I'm dizzy, but not falling over or nauseated to the extent I was for the last couple of weeks. I still don't know what it was, but I really am not that interested in knowing, anyway.



What counts is what gets me well! I know that God built healing into the system, and for that I am truly thankful. I know that old friends and old memories are like balm for the soul, and I am blessed to have some of the very best. I am also blessed to have some of the very worst memories anyone can imagine, which brings me to rehearse the amazing grace of God and His people. Coupled with the prayers of the saints, I can hardly stay sick forever! All of this results in a spirit rekindled, and a body delivered from the grip of illness.



I am, like every believer and disciple of Christ, reborn and renewed, being constantly re-made in the image of Christ. The Spirit within us grows stronger and we look, act and live more like Him all the time! We are delivered and become deliverers like Him. There is healing in the voice and touch of Christ's followers. You heal me, and each other. And I am thankful.

No Super Pastor

There is no such thing as a "super-pastor." But if there was, I'll bet he never gets sick. I, on the other hand, do. My head hurts, I'm dizzy, and sick at my stomach--products of living in the fallen state of a corrupted world. And I don't mean New York.

I pray for the return of the King, and the full redemption of all of creation. 'Til then, I pray we all get well soon.

Not a Sick Fan

I'm not a fan of illness. I know that God built healing into our systems, and that rest is the key to activating that system. Consequently, illness sometimes seems to me a self-indictment for not paying attention to the necessary discipline of rest. I think I have run past the limits so often and for so long, that I require more rest than is normal for most, and I find that a little embarrassing. But the reality is, I need to rest as much as it takes to heal my body to wholeness. Period. Thanks for your prayers, and understanding.

Learning Jesus

Following Jesus means alot of things, but the baseline has to start with learning about Him.

We all learn in a variety of ways. I enjoy reading, because I can analyze detail, going back to reread things that prompt me to think. I also like listening to the stories of Jesus' life, work, miracles, etc. My grandfather used to tell stories, and somehow, to me, the stories of Jesus are just golden. But maybe the most invigorating learning process for me is experiential. When I am engaged in purposely "living the life of Christ," I am constantly in conversation with God. I want to do my best to think like Christ, act like Christ and just BE, like Christ.

I think the benchmark for learning of Christ is to examine the historical, biographical record of His life, which is found primarily in the 4 "gospel" books of the Bible--Matthew, Mark, Luke & John. When read like a novel, the story is gripping. When read by a devotee, a lot of detail jumps out. When scrutinized, the normal inconsistencies and unique idiosyncrasies of a very special life become the "stuff" of criticism as well as inspiration. The criticisms can become faith challenging, or they can become the very confirmation of our faith that Jesus was somehow, supernaturally, both God and man. The record appears imperfect. Yet, somehow, I am inspired to believe the imperfections are perceptual. I may never understand the perceived conflicts, this side of heaven. But I realize that any life held up to scrutiny will often hold surprises, paradoxes and conundrums for the studious observer.

Having read the stories of Christ over and over, listening to more sermon and stories than I can recount, and engaging in flights of fancy identifying with the principal character, I find myself, at 50 years of age, still fully consumed with the idea that I can--I should--be like Him.

The experience of sharing life with someone changes us. I share my life with Christ. I am changed. I understand, because I try to understand, His thoughts. I see how He lives, and I am inspired to live like Him. I see how He died, how He gave himself away for others, a sacrifice, and I am moved to think new thoughts about the value of my life, and how it should be spent, not just consumed.

When I was a child, I read the biography of Francis Marion (a.k.a. "Swampfox"). I wanted to be like him. He was smart, a skilled rider, well liked, and a man of principle and conviction. I liked those things, and thought him worthy of my emulation. When I read the story of Jesus, I knew nothing else, no one else, ever even came close. This was the life to model. This was the man who changed lives, my life, forever. The Spirit made it possible for me to experience Christ, personally, in a way I never imagined possible. He still does.

And I'm still learning.

I'm listening.

Sometimes I'm just really aware that repetition is the only way we'll actually hear and learn something. And when repetition comes our way, it's probably a good bet that God's trying to tell us something important.

Lately, the recurrent theme seems to be "if you'll take the blame for the failures, you'll likely take the credit for the successes."

Sounds reasonable. On the face, it's sounds like an accountability lesson with rewards promised for the guy willing to "take it on the chin for his mistakes." But when I talk to God, over and over He tells me it's really a lesson about arrogance and pride.

I love to give God thanks and praise for the victories. Success seems to be His "middle name." He's very good to me--and all of His children. We know that every good thing comes from God. And we want to give Him praise for the successes we enjoy. But there are times when our experiences require adjustments many of us can only describe as failures. We are willing servants of the Almighty, all-knowing God, who sometimes calls us to service that to us may appear fruitless. Because we can't see the future of the larger picture, we can't know the part our sacrifice plays. The significance of our role may seem small or, worse, huge--and embarrassing--when we perceive failure.

But the truth is, when we sign as disciples of Christ, we are called to follow Him to a cross. His greatest success surely looked like a failure to most onlookers of that day. I'm willing to give Him credit for the successes. I know full well that He is able to do all things. I know that if I am able, it's because His Spirit lives within me, enabling & empowering me. By the same token, I must be willing to give Him credit for the failures, trusting that, although I may never see the other side of the failure, it plays a role in the development of my "reasonable service" and His Kingdom.

Success? Failure? I'm OK with that. Or I will be.

The Nature of Relationship

We need each other. We need to be needed, as much as we need others. In fact, some counselors suggest the greatest human need is the need to be needed. Commonly called "the search for significance," most of us find great satisfaction in the relationships we build and maintain with people we genuinely care about.

It shouldn't be at all surprising that we so highly value relationships. We were created for relationship. God created us for fellowship with Him. He recognized the longing within man for relationship, and created a help-mate for him, from him. We really are connected to each other, and to God. Our innermost longings can only be satisfied in relationships. And our greatest, aching, innermost longing is for God. Our search for significance is really a search for Him.

Some worry the search is in vain. Some fear that the search is futile, contending "there is no God." But Jesus said that everyone who keeps searching will find. The garden story, at the very beginning of the Bible, tells of God searching for Adam & Eve, after their sin. I believe the life and sacrifice of Christ is the ultimate story of God searching for us. He wants a relationship with us. We need only reach up to Him. He's already reaching out to us.

We were created for fellowship with God. He gave us the capacity to participate in relationship with Him, in an intelligent, loving fashion. As a result, we have the capacity, also, to participate in relationship with other people. In fact, the capacity to love and be loved, to hear and be heard--or perhaps better stated, to understand and be understood, to accept and be accepted, are perhaps the most common and important human traits.

While most of us search for interpersonal relationships to meet our needs, many are unaware that the single greatest fulfillment available in human experience is found in a personal relationship with God. Many find it completely normal to talk to ourselves, but may find it a little uncomfortable for others to know they talk to an invisible, quiet God. Like the discomfort of conversation with someone you just met for the first time, or perhaps that of a first date, the only way to make it work is to just do it.

Talk to God. Take the chance of not knowing what to say. Take the chance that some may think you're psychotic. Take the chance that He will hear you. He will listen. He will care. He will respond.

Age and Sloth take their toll

Happy Birthday to me and anyone else born on January 15.

It's not hard for me to believe I'm 50 years old today. I feel it. Hard work makes me tired. Muscles, unaccustomed to repetitive use, cramp and knot, reminding me that I have become soft, as well as old. I think, perhaps, a disciplined regimen of physical exercise truly is called for, so that I might slow the advance of debilitating disorders of sloth. I hope Christian friends and family will encourage me and hold me accountable to the commitment.

What is a difficult for me to accept, is learning to slow up a little. My mind races and dreams like a teenager. My heart is still stirred by visions of love, hope and justice. How can you slow the desire to change the world? I'm not convinced it's possible. And frankly, I'm not sure I want it to be possible.

I think maybe it's still "better to burn out, than it is to rust."

But I also believe it's possible to discipline myself to burn maybe a little longer, a little brighter, a little hotter. Wish me luck.