Rules & Regs & Doing the Right Thing

In a 2007 edition of the New Oxford Review, Dr. A. Patrick Schneider II, who holds boards in family and geriatric medicine and runs a private practice in Lexington, Kentucky, did a statistical analysis of cohabitation in America, based on the findings of a number of academic resources. Here are five conclusions Schneider draws from his studies:

• Relationships are unstable in cohabitation. One-sixth of cohabiting couples stay together for only three years; one in ten survives five or more years.
• Cohabiting women often end up with the responsibilities of marriage—particularly when it comes to caring for children—without the legal protection. Research has also found that cohabiting women contribute more than 70 percent of the relationship's income.
• Cohabitation brings a greater risk of sexually transmitted diseases, because cohabiting men are four times more likely to be unfaithful than husbands.
• Poverty rates are higher among cohabitors. Those who share a home but never marry have 78 percent less wealth than the continuously married.
• Those who suffer most from cohabitation are the children. The poverty rate among children of cohabiting couples is fivefold greater than the rate among children in married-couple households. Children ages 12–17 with cohabiting parents are six times more likely to exhibit emotional and behavioral problems and 122 percent more likely to be expelled from school.

Living together as husband and wife is marriage. Period. Simple as as that. Men who "trick" women are just as evil when they do it without as license as when they obtain a license from the government. I know the government provides certain guarantees to women when they register their marriage with the state, which is really decent, since they tax you according to the registration, but the fact remains that dishonorable behavior is dishonorable behavior.

Men and women have been entering into partnerships since the garden. There was a snake in the garden then, and there are snakes around still today. Women need to choose carefully a partner who is trustworthy. The success and prosperity of the household, the security of the children, the stability and health of the future rely upon the discernment of the people involved--particularly the women.

But the fact remains, the snake in the equation is the person or persons who selfishly pursue their own interests at the expense of others. Christians have not so learned Christ. When we follow Christ, He leads us to love as He loves--holding the other's interests above our own, seeking the blessing and benefit of others at our own expense, forgoing our own pleasure for the benefit of others. When we give ourselves away, sacrificing self, redeeming and lifting up others, we are most like Christ. In so doing, we put ourselves in the optimum position to bring blessing and prosperity to the entire house. Ultimately, our greatest potential for blessing is never found in what we can take from a given situation. It is found in the hand of a loving God who gives every good and perfect gift, freely, from above.

When we love, bless, and live honorably, faithfully with each other, we are most like Him.

Walking the Garden Path

Following Christ can be very exciting. Following Christ can be a little scary. There simply is no way that I can, in good conscience, tell you that it will always be easy to be a faithful disciple of Jesus.

Ask Peter about his experiences. Ask him if he was scared the night Jesus was arrested. Ask him if he worried what the religious leaders thought about his violation of Jewish traditions and laws. Ask him if it hurt when he was stoned, beaten, and ultimately crucified. Ask him if it was worth it.

I believe our choices are simpler today, and our risks are not as great, in this country. However, the teachings of Christ still require that we give ourselves away in the fashion He did at every moment leading up to and including Calvary. How we manage this life's resources and assets entrusted to us, how we relate to others, what we do with our time, etc., all are areas of discipleship that demonstrate the Lordship of Christ.

Religion often over simplifies the Christian life to a series of rules, dogmas, and rituals, all of which are designed to focus our attention on Christ. But it's easy to make the religious exercize the focus, losing the focus on Christ altogether. It's really important to remember that our actions are supposed to grow out of the relationship with God. And similarly, our actions should draw us closer to Him. But it all starts with the relationship. And the relationship is like any other--communication is key.

The easiest part about following Christ is the time we spend just being with Him, talking to Him, listening, just being. And if we stay there, we might think it will always be easy to know what to do, and to do it. But remember, the disciples were with Jesus the night He was arrested. Even though they were walking right alongside Him, they were scared, confused, and at least one of them struck out violently with a sword. The sweetest thing is that--even in that stressful moment--Jesus just fixed it, miraculously healing Malcus' ear. I don't really like being scared and confused, but I'd love to have been there.

As we walk together with Christ and the family of disciples here, there will be moments of fear and confusion. It's inevitable, because we have an enemy who will confront us. We will likely screw up, individually and collectively, and Jesus will have to fix it. I don't really like being scared and confused, but I really have to be there. And I want to be there with you.

Family at Work & Play

Saturday was a huge day for Calcium Community Church. I love the sound of family when they work together, play together, and just spend time doing stuff.

Saturday, we were family. We worked together, painting much of the walls and ceilings in the new building. We played together, painting and laughing and eating and just having a good time being together.

Our family gets pretty loud. We can be a little chaotic. We can tolerate a lot more of the noise and chaos than I thought! As a result, we can accomplish more than I thought.

I think we may be ready to try some really ambitious things.

Think about it. Pray about it. Get ready.

Stellar Performance?

Five star hotels are constantly critiqued based on a comprehensive list of things that evaluate how effectively they meet the needs of their guests. The assumption is that the guest paying the bill has choices, and can stay wherever they are most likely to find the level of excellence they choose. While many older hotels don't make the list, for a variety of reasons, some do. The age of facilities is not nearly as big an obstacle as the "good enough" mind-set that balances costs of improvement against the perceived probability of profit. Believe it or not, working toilets and showers in the rooms are the "insurmountable" obstacle to many making the list. Cleanliness and safety are disqualifying factors for others. Obviously, the list is more than restrooms, clean sheets and doors that close and lock, but those, to me, seem pretty basic. They might not get you five stars, but you surely won't get the stars without them!



A couple of Christian businessmen have co-authored a book (Stan Toler & Alan Nelson, "Five Star Church") based on the premise that churches must constantly keep in mind that our number one goal is to serve God and others. Their premise prompts me to think what God might consider 5-star service. We forget too easily that members and attenders are not "the customers" of the 5-star church. We serve the One True God, Who deserves our very best. Every week, we pray, inviting God to come into our midst and receive our worship and praise. He is the one who evaluates our performance as Christians and as a Church.



If we follow the example of His Son, we'll serve our One True "Guest" best by giving ourselves to Him, and others, in sacrificially loving ways. Jesus said that our judgment would be found in the answers to the questions "When did we see you hungry or thirsty...destitute, a stranger in need of clothes or a place to stay...sick...in prison or bondage...?"(Matthew 25). Jesus said when we bless others, meeting their needs, we are doing it to Him. It is our reasonable service, worship. These are the basics toward becoming a 5-star Christian and Church!